The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
