You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
