i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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