Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
