He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
