Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
