okay pat passed out under dana's car
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Randomize
