I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
