She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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