u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
