Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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