do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
