No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
