I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
