so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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