i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
