Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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