"it" just moved
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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