If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
