I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
