so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize