At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
