We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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