your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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