i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Never underestimate the power of titties
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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