Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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