I'm drive I can fine osifer
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
