Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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