I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You're so nebulous sometimes
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
