I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
