bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
