You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
