Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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