it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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