dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
