Porn is love you can see.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
