apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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