I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
it glows. i had to have it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We left an ass print on the piano.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
