are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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