Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
