wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
