I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
