This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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