About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
