It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize