just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
