Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
