i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Blood and glitter go together right?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
