found the other keg... it's in the tree
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This is my gift to your gina
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
