I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize