Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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