Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
