So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
