I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
