they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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