why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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