This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think my vagina is haunted
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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