so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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