I smell stomach acid.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
