So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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