I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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