It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
