i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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